Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Premature midlife crisis
What am I doing with my life ?
What do I want to do with my life ?
Why am I not content ?
May be the answer to the third question is a weighted mean of first two, to which I am absolutely clueless.
Monty Python's 'The meaning of life' didn't help either. Well may be a bit, but thats entirely out of context.
There is this constant nagging in my head screaming at me that I am not doing what I am supposed to do. I am doing less; much less and so random that at end of the day I am not even going to be a 'Jack of all trades' but just a 'Jack'. My attention span decreased to the level of a humming bird and I started to space out even during 1 on 1 conversations.
My priorities in life are changing like 'Now Playing' in a shuffled playlist. A really LONG playlist. I don't think any one else on this planet has taken as many resolutions as me, not even by an alcohol substance-abuse support group member. I make a couple of them everyday. Once I took a resolution that I would maintain a database of all the resolutions I make. I stopped updating that after a day.
And most importantly, I lost my sense of humor too. Now I am left with just 5 senses.