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Friday, February 8, 2013

Things I have learned today - Part 12



For a change, instead of jotting down the things I have learned, I am listing down the things that aren't so clear to me. I am not a clever man, please bear with me.
  • When someone says something funny over an IM or a text, do you say 'haha' or 'hehe'? Even if you decide to go with something, how many times do you repeat 'ha' or 'he'? Is the frequency proportional the intensity of funny the aforementioned IM/text is? Can we generalize it with the following equation?


  • When you give credit card to a waiter in a restaurant to pay your bill, how can you blindly trust that he doesn't copy your credit card number with its cvv code and doesn't use this information to feed his Meth addiction?  

  • I have seen a lot of people use 'Print this only if it is absolutely necessary' in their email signature. Why? Firstly who in their right mind prints emails? Even if they are out of their element, how can you expect them to read your lame signature and completely change their lunatic lifestyle of printing all the emails and physically archiving them? Get out of your smug cloud and shut the fuck up.

  • Why is HBO showing all day romantic movie marathon on Feb 14? Screw market research, don't they have minimal common sense that people who get influenced by this valentines day fad don't sit in front of their TVs that day? The only ones who stay back at home are the forever alone guys and ugly girls who are already depressed that they are going to die alone, showing romantic movies to them is like running in front of an amputee in a wheel chair and challenging him to a 100 meters sprint. With obstacles.

  • Infants are scary people. What goes on in their minds? Can they think? Do they think like dogs? Why do they feel so entitled? Don't they get bored doing nothing all day other than eating and pooping? Is training them in a Pavlovian way legal? Why do they sleep like they have built the whole world in 5 days?