Thursday, December 22, 2011

Page Break

It was a Wednesday night and I was sitting comfortably on a bean bag and staring out of my room’s window pointlessly at some random light and suddenly I got an urge to pee. I briefly considered holding it in for a while as the setting was just too comfortable to get up from and the heavenly feeling of peeing after holding it in for a long time enticed me too. But holding it in would mean millions of neurons punching at my brain for the whole time. Undecided, I got up to pee as that was the sane thing to do. After I was done, I unlocked my mobile to check for any Facebook updates and when I checked the time, I realized that I had lost 2 hours. I was staring out of my window for 2 hours straight.

I usually space out during mornings but never for more than 5 minutes; but this was on an entirely new dimension. I lost the track of time for more time than I have ever sat in one place without stirring. I looked out of the window again hoping for some rotating spiral which would have hypnotized me. But all I could find was the same ugly building with lights on it forming a pink flower. An ugly pink flower.

Then I decided to list down all the things I have been thinking for the past couple of hours. It was tough, the thoughts were so volatile just like the memories of the dreams after you wake up in the morning. Their intensity was inversely proportional to the square of the time passing by. I could only come up three things– 

  1. Self obsessed conversations
  2. An incident which happened 1.7 years ago and the verbal comeback I should have said.
  3. An incident which happened 4 months back which turned out to be a disaster; and the probable things I should have done to avoid it which would have made my current life much more interesting.

I thought starting today I would write one post everyday till end of this year. Shortly, after realizing how pointless it was, I opened while sinking back into the bean bag with the book I intend to complete by Friday.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Moths frequently appear to circle artificial lights. They use a technique of celestial navigation called transverse orientation. By maintaining a constant angular relationship to a bright celestial light, such as the Moon, they can fly in a straight line. Celestial objects are so far away, that even after travelling great distances, the change in angle between the moth and the light source is negligible; further, the moon will always be in the upper part of the visual field or on the horizon. When a moth encounters a much closer artificial light and uses it for navigation, the angle changes noticeably after only a short distance, in addition to being often below the horizon. The moth instinctively attempts to correct by turning toward the light, causing airborne moths to come plummeting downwards, and resulting in a spiral flight path that gets closer and closer to the light source
We are all like moths spiraling around the things we covet.

Monday, December 12, 2011


I have this friend of mine whom I rarely talk to. Yesterday he calls me after an year without any warning and tells me that he screwed up; real bad. Apparently he got stuck in some sort of scam and is in dire need of cash.
'I don't have any liquid cash'  I lied.

(imaginary metaphors used)

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Things I have learned today - Part 9

1.   Being in a new workplace is stressful; people don't have the time to socialize. So I hung out near water cooler – the Mecca for small talk. Consequentially, I had to pee more often. At first I casually chose the penultimate urinal, but later it became a habit. The more I visited that urinal the more I got emotionally attached to it. I once waited for my turn when a guy already occupied it while others being unoccupied, it freaked the fuck out of him; then I stopped this shit.

2.  Most of the billion dollar ideas are simple. Last week I was struck with such an idea. An idea which was so simple and yet had the potential to generate infinite revenue. So I was sending money to my friend through fund transfer portal on the bank's website, it came to me in a flash. In the field of 'amount to be transferred' I entered '-500' and clicked on 'Send'. I thought I would become billionaire over night. I thought I would quit my job and start money laundering business with abysmal interest rates. I thought I would buy toilet paper made of cash. But just as I clicked on the 'Send' button, a error box appeared saying I cannot enter negative values. So much for my flash forward visions.

3. If you want to freak some person out, just open his/her Facebook profile and like all the photos in all the albums and all the posts he/she posted for the past 2 years. If things get out of hand, just do what everyone does after writing Freudian slips on walls; say your profile had been hacked by someone and you are extremely sorry.

4.  If you want to talk to a girl, don’t google her up before you start your first conversation.

5.  A flash mob isn’t a mob of flashers. Yes, life is unfair.

6. After an era of duck faced Facebook profile pictures, now it is extreme close up of the face slightly tilted. I have no idea how these uncool fads become popular.

7.  I sent a meme to my manager wishing him happy thanksgiving; I don’t think he took it well.

8. If you have nightmares during siesta, are they called daymares?

9.Call me immature but everytime I see 69% battery remaining on my phone, I laugh my ass off.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Reddit win

I always thought that Reddit is a free pass to life long mediocrity and virginity. But this happened over a course of 2 days.The images below are in the chronological order.Click on the images for bigger versions. But you can always squint.

There is hope after all. Just to shamelessly add traffic to my blog I am adding I_am_the_cheese and hihi_birdie.