It was a Wednesday night and I was sitting comfortably on a bean bag and staring out of my room’s window pointlessly at some random light and suddenly I got an urge to pee. I briefly considered holding it in for a while as the setting was just too comfortable to get up from and the heavenly feeling of peeing after holding it in for a long time enticed me too. But holding it in would mean millions of neurons punching at my brain for the whole time. Undecided, I got up to pee as that was the sane thing to do. After I was done, I unlocked my mobile to check for any Facebook updates and when I checked the time, I realized that I had lost 2 hours. I was staring out of my window for 2 hours straight.
I usually space out during mornings but never for more than 5 minutes; but this was on an entirely new dimension. I lost the track of time for more time than I have ever sat in one place without stirring. I looked out of the window again hoping for some rotating spiral which would have hypnotized me. But all I could find was the same ugly building with lights on it forming a pink flower. An ugly pink flower.
Then I decided to list down all the things I have been thinking for the past couple of hours. It was tough, the thoughts were so volatile just like the memories of the dreams after you wake up in the morning. Their intensity was inversely proportional to the square of the time passing by. I could only come up three things–
- Self obsessed conversations
- An incident which happened 1.7 years ago and the verbal comeback I should have said.
- An incident which happened 4 months back which turned out to be a disaster; and the probable things I should have done to avoid it which would have made my current life much more interesting.
I thought starting today I would write one post everyday till end of this year. Shortly, after realizing how pointless it was, I opened rainymood.com while sinking back into the bean bag with the book I intend to complete by Friday.