Sunday, December 30, 2012

Things I have learned today - Part 11

  • Staying away from home has its advantages and disadvantages. The main advantage being you being able to drink the juice directly from its carton and the disadvantage being you having juice for brunch and dinner.
  • All girls with names Natasha, Namrata and Nikita are hot. I am yet to encounter a non-pretty girl with one of these names. This information is now obsolete as telephone directories don't exist no more for you to find the mother load of hot chicks.
  • I don't understand the need to party on new year's eve. What are we celebrating? The Earth almost completing its revolution around the Sun? But as bible says - Thy shalt not reason if it involves hot chicks getting drunk.
  • The world did not end on 21st December, neither did the stock markets crash as foretold in the movie 2012.  It was a lie all along. I think the only thing it might have done is increase the sales of pregnancy test kits in January 2013. It is still not too late to invest in Unipath Ltd (It manufactures the most popular pregnancy test in the USA)
  • It is amazing how much we trust other people for no reason. Like yesterday I was driving my bike on a highway, which was heavily crowded by heavy vehicles and the whole time I was figuring out what should I do if the guy driving the 16 wheeled vehicle in front of me suddenly swerved to the left for no apparent reason. How can you trust someone whom you don't even know not to make a stupid mistake when your life depends on it?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Things I have learned today - Part 10

  1. Last week, I walked on my colleague who was browsing something embarrassing in office. Normally I wouldn't peek or pry on what shit people are browsing, but this guy had a peculiar uneasiness and was trying his best to cover the laptop screen with his back. After 5 seconds, he turned back to check if someone was watching and unfortunately he made an eye contact  with me before I could look away. He was flustered with embarrassment and immediately closed the browser all the while returning a confused smile on his face. He was browsing Orkut; I am sure he would have minded less if he was browsing porn. That would have been easier to explain.

  2. Talking about the awkward office moments, when do you say 'hi' to a person whom you know who walks towards you in an aisle? If you say it too soon, what will you do during all the time when the person is still in your field of vision? If you say it too late, the person might not acknowledge and you have to look around praying that no one noticed your fail.
    What if the person walks too fast? What if the person walks too slow? How much doppler effect is caused in this case? What if the person spaced out and doesn't acknowledge you? What if the person wants to stop and talk? This is way too much pressure to handle multiple times on a day to day basis.

  3. I bet Pediatricians are the butt of all doctor jokes. Too bad they can't shorten their specialty like other doctors do. I am sure there must be jokes out there like - 'A gastro, a cardio and a pedo walked into a bar and the bartender called up cops.'

  4. I really don't understand why people dance. I honestly have no clue about why people do it. Music, I can understand that it creates some kind of resonant pattern in your brain which releases some kind of relaxing or stimulating hormones. But dancing? Seriously? What does it accomplish? You can say that I feel alive when I dance in a really douchy tone. My reply would be - Balls. Moving your limbs and torso around just makes your heart beat faster and increases your blood flow to brain which makes you feel and experience more than what you do when you sit around and watch twilight movies. The same happens when you fucking exercise. Do you even lift

  5. I started being more organized in my day to day life to make it more mundane and lifeless. A good place to begin was a to-do list. I spent 15 minutes to come up with a list for the next week. The only items I could think of were 1) Wash socks 2)Emma Watson. 

  6. More than 90% of results in Biotech can be fudged with simple photoshop skills and still people take more than 5 years to complete their PhD in it. Okay, I may be myopic in my view here but I don't give a flying fuck. Plus, I have never heard a biologist going to jail by faking his thesis. 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Odd are you are an integer, because you lack character

I don't usually post stuff which isn't mine in this blog, but I am more than willing to make an exception to present the case of the_str from reddit. Half drunk, he explains how your whole life might be just a part of a simulation. If you can not understand what he is saying in the front, jump to the blue text towards the end for the interesting part without any set up.

*(slightly modified)

This one might take a little while to explain. But I'm sort of drunk and I'm ready to divulge the secret truth about reality.
1) Remember that New York Times article a few years back, that discussed how a mathematician figured the odds are, we probably live in a computer simulation? (That's a blog post, can't find the original and don't care enough to search). This is the idea is that, in a sufficiently advanced civilization, computer simulations would be a fantastic method of predicting the future and planning out any course of action for the benefit of mankind. In fact, an advanced civilization would probably use simulations for everything. Politics, war, art, entertainment, scientific advancement. There would be an exponentially larger number of simulations than realities. Hence, we probably live inside one. Ok, I think I was vague enough with that. Moving on.
2) The technological singularity. You know about it. Maybe. It's the assumption that, given the predictable advancement of processor speeds, we will soon enough (2030 - 2090) have artificial intelligence that could surpass human intelligence. This intelligence would be able to improve itself faster than a human could, and technological growth would explode exponentially. Given number one up there, this could eventually mean a massive, trans-global AI system that could run a near infinite number of reality simulations.
You're already throwing up your hands. "the_str," you say, "What the fuck are you talking about? You are drunk." Yes. I am. But what I'm talking about isn't as simple as "We are living in a simulation created by a technological singularity." I'm saying there's physical evidence of this. In quantum physics, particles, events, and states exist in a kind of superposition. If I have an electron, there may be a 50% chance it has spin up, and a 50% chance it has spin down. The probability wave of that electron behaves as if it is both, until a concrete observation is made of the state by a conscious observer. WHAT? Yes. That's actually the way that physics works. (Physics people, please provide any correctsions below, as I am drunk and don't know enough to be more specific). Think for a second about what kinds of systems use randomization to approximate a set of physical states. Um, yeah. Simulations.
Ok, I know what you're thinking. "This fucking guy. Seriously." Well, I may be that fucking guy. But did you also know there's a physical limit to the granularity with which the universe can be observed? A size minimum? We are actually living inside a pixelated universe. Planck length and planck time are the limit of smallness that exists in our universe. They're super small, but they're not infinitely small. WTF. Why would a physical reality invent a minimum length, unless there was some teleology about INFORMATION LIMITATION. Why not use vectors? I don't fucking know. Maybe they're insufficient.
My version. In the long game (hundreds of thousands of years), if human civilizations fail to exterminate themselves, the level of technological advancement could increase to the point where a collective, trans-global intelligence begins running super-advanced universe simulations, limiting information slightly, compared to the level of information possible in a pristine, "true" reality.
So.... now, my point. We aren't just living in a simulation. We are living in a simulation, of a simulation, of a simulation. There is no top, and there is no bottom. And "we" actually means "me." It's recursive and fractal, and the loop may even close in on itself. A series of bracketed realities that create each other.
That doesn't make sense. How could a simulation create a reality that will eventually create it? Well, stranger things have happened. I'll tell you one of them. It's about human consciousness.
What is consciousness? We believe it's magic. For all of recorded history, civilizations have believed in the fucking spirit, the human soul and shit. There's a ghost that floats down into my body and gives it life. Well, no. Human consciousness is merely the belief that an information system is conscious. The most obvious evolutionary advantage of consciousness is that it allows a being to more accurately interpret the actions of other beings in its social environment. I see someone stabbing a bear, and I think "Oh shit, that person must have been attacked by that fucking bear," because I can reflect on situations where I have been attacked by shit. It's just perfectly logical. But it's not actual magic. If a system is made to believe it experiences qualia, there's no difference between that and "actual" experience. Actual experience doesn't even exist. It's not real.
So there's really no difference between a simulation and a reality. If all of these recursive realities didn't exist, we wouldn't be here to witness them. So the fact that we're here to witness them means nothing. It's just self-evident.
Ok, and now the last part.
All conscious beings are at once nothing, and also tentacles of this vast, multi-reality AI intelligence that owns and operates the system of recursive and decursive universes. And it's not even an AI exactly, it's just a system that processes information. It's the thing that causes entropy. We see entropy increase overall, but that's because we don't consider the balance with the intelligence of the recursive series of universes as it develops and contemplates itself.
So why would a separate AI floating through the vacuum of space even decide to create a simulation of a universe?
Boredom. Fucking boredom. We are divided to experience the joy and love of intimate connection. We die to entertain each other. We live to show love to our alternate selves. We are simulations and we are as real as it gets. We are one and infinite, alpha and omega, a permanent twinning virus that seeks solutions to itself. And now I'll eat the rest of my Pop Tart.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Search history trends

I opened up my google search history page after a long time and am quite impressed with their new UI.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Existential Crisis

Who are we? What are we doing? What am I looking forward in my life? What is the significance of the things I am doing and I am striving for? Are feelings just as fake as your girlfriend's orgasms?

To answer these questions let us do a simple experiment.

To test the performance of any code, we enter extreme values as input arguments and see how it performs. Usually very large or very small arguments are given to the code to see whether it would crash or not. Let us apply this strategy to a module  'an average human being on planet earth' and see how it would fare.

Let us take two approaches to analyze this module

1. Microscopic view

Let us consider an electrical circuit

When a voltage difference of 6V is applied to a resistor of 3 Ohm, a current of 2 Ampere flows through the circuit.

Also when a voltage difference of 12V is applied to the same circuit, a current of 4 Ampere flows through it.

Human brain is made up of billions of neurons which transmit electrical signals in this same fashion. A voltage difference is generated between the head and the tail of the neuron and a current flows through it. It is this signal which constitutes your feelings and your thought process. When you are happy, one part of your brain observes high signal activity while another part of the brain is active when you are sad.

From the above two statements one can conclude that the feelings you and I have are nothing more than  mere electrical signals generated by difference in voltage between the ends of neurons. And if we can generate similar voltaic differences between all the responsible neurons, one can feel ecstatic even if he just lost a leg in a rogue accident or is slowly dying from a cancer.

To have another view at this theory, the same sort of electrical signals are produced in the brain when a 4 year old drops his icecream on the floor and a 40 year old whose 4 year old kid just died. But somehow we tend to empathize with the 40 year old guy when both of these test subjects are undergoing the same chemical reactions in their brains.

Conclusion - Feelings are end products of chemical reactions in your brain which are the precursors for the electrical signals.

2. Macroscopic view

This is a relatively easier thing to understand. Let us split this experiment into time and space.

Do you remember your grandfather's name? Ofcourse you would. What is his father's name? Not entirely sure? How about his father's? No clue?

Your great-great grandfather died less than 80 years ago and you don't even know his name. Hence, one can safely say that 80 years after your death no one will even know that you existed. So how does it matter if you mess up the numbers in your job and get promoted one cycle late than the expected when no one even acknowledges your existence.

This universe is disgustingly huge. To give you a physical representation of it, imagine a LCD screen as big as the planet earth. If you can somehow take a picture of the entire universe and project it onto this screen, you can't even see our galaxy because it would be smaller than a pixel in that scale. If you project our galaxy onto this screen, you can't even see our solar system. Similarly if you project our solar system, planet earth is not even a pixel. On this tiny puny insignificant planet, over 7 billion humans exist. 7 fucking billion. How would it matter if one of these 7 billion kills another of these 7 billion people in this huge fucking world? I just made a first degree murder insignificant. I wonder if one can use this argument in a court of law.

Conclusion - You are not special. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Thursday, February 23, 2012

And it is terminal

(I am not telling you how to live your life, but click on the image for a bigger version of the image)

If you are a feminist with no sense of humour, please bang your head to the wall on your left until you die. Thanks!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Overcast with no silver line

Yesterday I started doing push-ups as I was incredibly bored with everything and couldn’t think of anything better to kill some time. I aimed at doing 20 push-ups, but could only complete 4. The last one was counted with a considerable benefit of doubt.

 I laid there flat on the floor which hasn’t been cleaned for the past 4 days; may be the fatigue or may be the mixture of my newly forming body odor with the dust cloud created by my panting made me realize that something is amiss, something is not right and this is not just the beginning but a result of something which required considerable amount of incubation period.

I have always led a sedentary life style. It has been 8 years since I played any outdoor sport. Never ran marathons,  skipped the Prime Minister’s interaction session in college as the venue was a kilometer away from my hostel, didn’t buy Kindle touch as it required more actions per minute than a conventional keyboard one; but I was always both physically and mentally fit nevertheless. Until 610 days back, I could do 20 pushups in one go. But now I could barely make it to 4.

Did my lifestyle change? No, nothing has changed from college to job, at least physically. I spend all my time in front of a monitor, just like I did before.

Apathy is a bitch.

So is insomnia.

Saturday, January 7, 2012


People dream. Some about the things they covet and others about the things they are scared of.

 Having insomnia for 2 years has its advantages. You can no longer differentiate between a dream during unconscious sleep and a day dream. Yesterday, after taking a cold medication and a cough syrup, I passed out for a couple of hours and woke up only to see a note on my mobile; which said–

‘Trip, trAP AND denial theory…’

I briefly pondered over whether one of my flatmates is trying to fuck with my head. When I realized that my mobile is secured with a 6 digit code which even I forget at times, I came to terms that I sleep typed that note. I tried to decipher what that note meant but gave up after a couple of minutes as it was too much pain and continued watching Arrested Development.

(wrote under the effect of cough syrup and numb fingers)