Saturday, January 28, 2012

Overcast with no silver line

Yesterday I started doing push-ups as I was incredibly bored with everything and couldn’t think of anything better to kill some time. I aimed at doing 20 push-ups, but could only complete 4. The last one was counted with a considerable benefit of doubt.

 I laid there flat on the floor which hasn’t been cleaned for the past 4 days; may be the fatigue or may be the mixture of my newly forming body odor with the dust cloud created by my panting made me realize that something is amiss, something is not right and this is not just the beginning but a result of something which required considerable amount of incubation period.

I have always led a sedentary life style. It has been 8 years since I played any outdoor sport. Never ran marathons,  skipped the Prime Minister’s interaction session in college as the venue was a kilometer away from my hostel, didn’t buy Kindle touch as it required more actions per minute than a conventional keyboard one; but I was always both physically and mentally fit nevertheless. Until 610 days back, I could do 20 pushups in one go. But now I could barely make it to 4.

Did my lifestyle change? No, nothing has changed from college to job, at least physically. I spend all my time in front of a monitor, just like I did before.

Apathy is a bitch.

So is insomnia.

Saturday, January 7, 2012


People dream. Some about the things they covet and others about the things they are scared of.

 Having insomnia for 2 years has its advantages. You can no longer differentiate between a dream during unconscious sleep and a day dream. Yesterday, after taking a cold medication and a cough syrup, I passed out for a couple of hours and woke up only to see a note on my mobile; which said–

‘Trip, trAP AND denial theory…’

I briefly pondered over whether one of my flatmates is trying to fuck with my head. When I realized that my mobile is secured with a 6 digit code which even I forget at times, I came to terms that I sleep typed that note. I tried to decipher what that note meant but gave up after a couple of minutes as it was too much pain and continued watching Arrested Development.

(wrote under the effect of cough syrup and numb fingers)