Friday, August 15, 2014

Things I have learned today - Part 14

  • A girl in my office has a rainbow-sparkle resting face. If you think bitchy resting face is bad, this is worse than a 3 foot tapeworm in your large intestine. Last week when I was walking back to my desk from pantry, this girl was walking towards me with this happy-dent-self-luminous smile on her face. Distracted by my thoughts on sassy penguins, I casually returned a smile to her. She had abruptly stopped her smile and turned it into a questionmark with a slight hint of 'who-are-you'. Only then I had realized that she wasn't greeting me. She needs medical help or rehab or both.
  • Talking about office etiquette, when a person you know is walking towards you in the office aisle, when is the right time to acknowledge their presence and greet them? I made a schematic diagram for this analysis - 
  • What surprises me is that anyone can breed. Someone who has a doctorate in sub atomic energy distribution across quantized harmonics of electrons has the same right to have an offspring as a meth addict with 3 kids dead due to neglect and 4 being raised in foster homes. There should be a standardized qualification exam which the parents have to take right after the woman realizes that she is pregnant. If they fail to qualify, the woman should abort the child. Let the hate flow through the comments.
  • Wishing luck to your peers before an exam statistically decreases your grade if you are graded on a curve
  • 66.67% honesty is the foundation of all relationships
  • Why aren't bras made of brass?

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