Sunday, September 14, 2014

Things I have learned today - Part 15

This post is sponsored by Monster energy drink, which is basically Red Bull, but for addicts. Last weekend I had experimented to see what would happen if I go on a strictly energy drink diet. These are a few points I could type down between the hour 45 and 45.25 -

  1. Why is the size 'L' called 'Large' instead of 'Little', you know a size smaller than 'Small'(S). Why isn't this a bigger problem? Why aren't more people getting confused with this convention? Hasn't enough time had passed to define these in the International System of Units? Now that I think about it, even bits and bytes aren't defined in the SI system. And we all act like this no big deal. AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!
  2. People are usually scared of ghosts, darkness, Cthulhu, commitment, Megalodon, hell, their ratings on innovation in their project performance, threesomes, killers with skull masks but are extremely courteous to call before breaking into your house, jokes involving Islam, Rakshabandhan and flash floods. But I have a fear since childhood which can easily top all of these. Imagine you are eating cheese popcorn while watching a movie and you drop some on your shirt. Now you casually pick it up and put it back in your mouth absentmindedly but it doesn't turn out to be popcorn. And it starts crawling in your mouth *gasp* *puke* I don't eat popcorn anymore.
  3. John McClain is efficient only after he gets beaten up and bleeds out of his left eyebrow. This is true for all the Die Hard movies.
  4. Whenever there is a debate about legalizing gay marriage, have two guys with names Adam and Steve on the panel just to mess with the homophobes. Whenever they go "It is Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve", the moderator should say "I am sorry, it is actually Adam and Steve" while pointing at them.
  5. In every party, there will be one obnoxiously loud woman who gets high on two bright colored sugary drinks and constantly wants validation and wallows in attention. You want to punch her in her face or call out on her bullshit, but you won't because you want to sleep with her friend.
  6. People who suffer with insomnia have a difficult time maintaining their dental hygiene. Mostly because they don't know when to brush/floss their teeth at night.  

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