Thursday, December 25, 2014

Things I have learned today - Part 16

If there is a baby in a car and there is no "baby on board" sticker on the car, did the big bang really happen? Seriously, what is with people who advertise that a drunk midget is in the back of their car? How would it possibly affect me?
Just when I am coming to terms with this dumbassery, a new bumper sticker which says "Mother to be onboard" is going viral. What makes you think that anyone would possibly care that you had unprotected sex? At this exact moment there are 11,457,297 'mothers to be' just in India. You are not one in a million, not even one-tenth in a million. No one cares about your unborn fetus, not even the little shit's dad.

Whenever some massacre happens in the world, all mainstream media outlets report it something similar to "Terrorist attack, 14 died including 4 women and 3 children". Why don't they report the number men who died too? Why do they always leave the math to men? I can still understand if they report the numbers of men and women and leave children out as it would serve as a practice word problem for the kids who are into Call of Duty. Also, is media sexist for not leaving the subtraction to women? Are they indirectly stating that women suck at math? Why leave men out? Is it because they are disposable and no one cares about them?

It is super easy to solve a rubik's cube if you are color blind.

I don't understand arranged marriages. A lot of people don't pre-order games/books stating that they would rather read the reviews before buying them, but they are perfectly fine with marrying a random person whom their parents's friend of friend  thought would be perfect match for them. Basically you are judging a book by its cover but you can not give specific preferences about the "cover" to your parents. What if "boobs" have a much higher weight in your rating model while "CGPA in bachelors" is the primary criteria for your parents?

What is more sad?

A: Are you coming to K's party?
B: No, I am not invited

A: Why didn't you come to K's party?
B: I wasn't invited

If you are a compulsive stalker and want to get paid for doing it, become a security guard at a TCS office.