Thursday, February 23, 2017

Jack's Cognitive Compartmentalization

A black hole is a super dense object. Its gravitation pull is of such high magnitude that it is aptly named as a black hole and not a peach hole or a sparkly rainbow hole.

You first feel a small but powerful black hole at the center of your heart. That sinking feeling in  your heart? That is the top of your heart getting too close to the black hole while trying to pump blood to your overclocking yet barely productive brain and trying frantically to pull back to its original place. Rinse and repeat for 86 times a minute.

When you have an overclocking brain, everything happens at a slowed down and detached pace.

You think you would get used to this sinking feeling, or better- you hope it would stop. You are Jack's lying subconscious.

You repeat the lie enough times, even your subconscious self starts to believe in it.

The black hole slowly but surely starts to expand, losing its density by the order of 3 for every unit it expands. You are fairly certain that now it looks like a purple ball dipped in mud of a surprise shower in April. It expands to a point that it perfectly fits the inside of the heart and puts an imaginary pressure on the slimy and bloody ventricles but you are 94.9% sure that the sensory input is real.

All of a sudden, like a conscious being with a short term memory loss, reminded by the heart's systolic and diastolic contractions, the black hole begins to expand and contract with the same rhythm as the heart. When it contracts, it feels like the slightly under-powered black hole is pulling the opposite ends of ventricles towards each other and as time passes you wonder if your heart every knew how to contract before the onset of this moderately difficult situation.

You are sure that this will not continue for long,

Mostly because you are certain that your heart can't take any more of these shear forces.

Except that the end is never in sight. The tunnel never ends. The grass is brown on both sides of the fence. Weightlessness is an illusion. Hawking's radiation is real.

Seasons change, people move in and out of your ever shrinking mind space. The color of the black hole slowly changes to brown to blue to brown to blue to purple to blue to grey to orange to grey to a transparent with distinct spots of yellow, like a shitty glass work by a native artisan community of wherever. The spots disappear too.

You can't feel the thing in your heart anymore but you don't miss it because you know that it is there. Waiting to relapse, patiently, like a cheetah towards its end of stamina waiting with enough energy left for one last lunge towards its prey.

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